Gentle Giant Meadows Ranch
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Annie & Malc are Back!

9/28/2013

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MJ (Fox 13 meteorologist) is excited….out in the pacific there is another big storm barrelling in, the double Doppler never lies and for the weather lady, bad news is WONDERFUL news !! Here on Gentle Giant Meadows Ranch, her enthusiasm has been met with gloom and doom, another soaker is about as welcome as a trip to the dentist ( and that’s not good, mentally or fiscally !). Last Sunday the heavens opened, big black clouds converged over the ranch, the wind blew and torrential rain fell until the creeks ran like white water and the barnyard began to resemble a muddy pond. As the water level grew ominously higher, drains in the barn began to back up….instead of the water going down, an ugly black muddy soup of everything nasty produced on the ranch ( yes….poop …etc !!) was coming up. My birthday evening will be remembered, not for us a  nice dinner out at a local restaurant, not even a cosy night in front of the television, my lasting memory will be of Greg, butt in the air, arm up to the elbow following a snaking hosepipe up a seemingly endless drain…..in the pouring, soaking rainstorm. I guess that’s farming !! The news of a weather replay this weekend is even more alarming as all attempts to locate the blockage has failed and I don’t need to be a fortune teller to predict that the next few days will be spent….digging a hole and filling it back in !!! FORTUNATELY…for us (smile) yesterday twin sister Annie and her wonderful husband Malc ( who is great at digging and filling in holes ) arrived from England for a two week “holiday” on the farm. Annie’s signature fashion statement accessory down at the barn is her rubber boots and this years bright shiny Union Jack design bounced into Lady’s stall early yesterday morning, attached to a happy smiling Annie who was clearly anxious to get  ready for work.  A steady flow of chatter accompanied the sweeping shuffling and shovelling as stall after stall passed the quality control test and continued as hay mangers were loaded and buckets rinsed and filled. We were still chattering as Annie and her Union Jack boots trundled with a wheel barrow out into my garden to make war on the weeds which have thrived in the warm wet weather and despite my sporadic weeding attacks in between rain storms are clearly working on a total take over. Chattering continued as the weeds flew and a patch of garden was recovered, Annie’s Union Jack boots got muddied and the grateful turkeys happily accepted our overflowing wheel barrow of weeds. It was a good day. (and we are still chattering !!)

While Annie and I were hard at work in the garden, Greg and Malcolm were digging a diversion ditch around the barn to try and stem the predicted flood that we are expecting this weekend. Typically poor Malcolm digs holes and fills them in on his holiday, unusually this time he just dug…and dug…and dug! Now we wait apprehensively for the rain to start. Thanks Annie and Malc…only another 13 holes Malc !

The bull came to Daisy yesterday….well not exactly the four legged head tail and horns type of bull…..more the syringe type but hopefully her three weekly “wanting” episodes will be over and she will spend the Winter cultivating her unborn Spring calf. If the syringe worked…..the valley will no longer resound with her bawls and bellows and a little black Daisy look alike will be born in April. We watch and wait.

Time to go, take care, keep safe M
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Rain and Blocked Drains!

9/24/2013

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Today feels like a dreary miserable day and it’s not just the endless rain, the growing puddles and the sticky mud. Today my friend Lynne leaves the ranch to return home to England and her city job and we are going to miss her. Safe travels Lynne. Come back soon !

The livestock are certainly no lovers of the wet drops falling from above. As the heavy grey clouds broke yesterday and the rain came down in horizontal sheets, there was a stampede from the outer pastures. The sheep were trying to run faster than the cows and the cows, clearly not as fast as their woolly pasture mates but surely much bulkier just bulldozed their way through the pitiable dripping flock to get to the gate……where they would bawl, bleat and hopefully look just pathetic enough for a reprieve from the cold wet stuff. The barn gate would swing open and they would be given access to their warm dry stalls. The horses are in their element, rain creates wet…wet creates puddles and puddles create MUD. One by one as our equine friends were led in from the pasture the even wet mud coating, from the tip of each ear to the tip of the tail dripped. There was mud in the ears, mud up the noses and their hooves were full of mud. We didn’t need a tap to wash out buckets, a line of buckets under the eaves of the barn and the multi coloured buckets filled in an instant from the waterfall coming over the roof. It wasn’t just the livestock that got wet…..there were some pretty soggy farmers looking up at the sky for a little relief (that didn’t come).

All the rain has caused a blockage in the drain (s) and much of Sunday and Monday found Greg with his arm stuffed up to the armpit down said drain with every kind of smelly soggy poo, pee, sand, grit and who knows what other unsavoury delights !   The drain is still blocked, the rain still falls so I guess the standoff with the drain is going to continue. 

Quatre came home for my birthday weekend. It was great to see her red truck drive through the barn gate and even nicer to get a big Quatre smile and hug. See you in a couple of weeks for the Farm tour (October 5th).

Well, it’s about time to move. It’s still raining and miserable looking. Can’t I just go back to bed today ???????

Take care, keep safe and dry. M

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Time Passes So Fast...

9/20/2013

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As the days grow shorter, the evenings grow longer and the rain clouds build up over the Pacific, my friend Lynne’s time at the ranch draws to an end and I’m going to miss her. Each morning Greg has noted a steady stream of animated chatter combined with the usual sounds connected with moving mountains of steaming poop. We have wandered down memory lane, visited places long forgotten, laughed over office capers and wondered about the years ahead as each speck of shavings found it’s way to the growing poo pile. Yes, I did say EACH speck of shavings…..the floor of those stalls put my kitchen floor to shame and Lynne wont leave a shaving behind. Just to make a change for Lynne, we ventured into the cow pen where Misty Moo and Daisy Mae spend their nights. I don’t think I’m going to get her in there again ! I think my city slicker walked three times around the pen armed with her well used brush at the ready, a pitchfork (just in case) and an almost frantic frown on her face. Where to start ???

As the horses are returned to the stall for the evening Lynne gathers her grooming box and heads off to groom her friend Charm the golden palomino. Charm munches and Lynne combs, brushes and polishes, intermittently offering carrot morsels to the ever willing gelding. Lady the Shire mare is a little more of a challenge….and a lot more of a horse but standing on her toes Lynne accepts the challenge and Lady is tucked up in her stall for the night only after Lynne is confident that every speck of dust is gone from the mare’s shiny coat.

Thanks Lynne, you’ll make a farmer yet !!!

Greg’s body has been taking a beating of late and as his arm heals from a burn, his head now shows the results of a battle with a tree branch….the branch won. Poor Greg, now he’s limping from his sore feet, hobbling from his sore knee and holding his bruised head in his burnt arm. Just to add insult to injury one of the horses decided to take a very unhealthy bite out of arm this morning. Today will be better Greg….maybe.

Time to go, take care, keep safe. M
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Friends Reunited.

9/17/2013

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Horse stalls are being de-pooped in record time, with Lynne behind a broom, shovel or hosepipe my morning chores are done and dusted by break time (10.30). Lynne was my colleague behind a computer in an office in the city, she was a huge part of my other life and for the past 10 days has become part of my new life. It’s easy to forget that many years have gone by and we are on the other side of the world from that big bustling office. Our days are filled with poop ( ok…not too different !) our figures relate to how many eggs, potatoes or tomatoes we have collected. Office disputes happen in the chicken pen when Adolf  the Rhode Island Red rooster chastises his harem and management ( Greg and I…..um….ME ) are easy going and relaxed. It is a different world from the one I left and the one that Lynne still lives on a day to day basis but each morning my Lynne, my best friend fastens up her tennis shoes, pins back her hair and heads down to the barn to be a country girl …...and I’m loving her being here.

Wayne “the man” came to visit yesterday. Daisy Mae our black Dexter cow comes into season every three weeks. Every three weeks she very loudly demands the bull. From every corner of her pen, from every corner of her pasture on the way up Cow Lane and on the way back down Cow Lane Daisy Mae bawls for a man….any man will do,…. just find her a man. When Daisy is in season everyone one is at risk of being seen as a suitable mate for the bawdy cow. Sadly, despite an earlier attempt to inseminate her, Daisy remains open ( un pregnant ?) and needy, hence Wayne’s return. Misty moo, the adorable golden Jersey cow is due to calve in March and already her sleek body is beginning to swell….any swelling on dumpy Dexter Daisy is purely related to her very healthy appetite. Hopefully, Wayne “the man”  is going to save us, our neighbours…..and half of Pearce County from suffering yet another season and Daisy will be in calf. Currently a very unflattering blue plastic string hangs out of her nether regions, a hormone implant. Next week, Wayne will arrive with his syringe and with luck Mr. McGee the bull ( in his absence) will become a daddy.

I’ve included some photographs of my heritage tomatoes…..I was more than a little concerned at the deformed shape they were taking…until I saw the name of the species, CRANIUM tomatoes. What is that all about ?

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Washington DC…it is difficult to imagine the horrors that were happening whilst we live in this quiet peace filled valley. Our sympathies go out to everyone involved.

With that sad thought, it’s time to go, the cuckoo has spoken and dawn has broken over the Pacific North West. Take care, keep safe, M
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Sorry to See Carly Go

9/15/2013

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We said a very sorry farewell to Carly last night. After a seemingly frantic “last day”  our young WWOOFER, still attached to her bicycle disappeared off into the Bremerton sunset.  Actually, after a struggle to affix her saddle bags with three of us trying (unsuccessfully) to assist and a little hairy rat dog on the end of a ribbon held by a lady in glittery ankle boots talking on a polka dot cell phone tried to pee on her front tyre, Carly smiled and walked off to the ferry. We are sorry to see you go, our loss is Missoula’s  gain ……you are a lucky man TJ !! Take care, Carly. Remember we are only a Greyhound Bus away.

More of our WWOOFER arrows were erected yesterday….but they didn’t give themselves up easily. Perched up on the top of a green ladder she determined which way to Munich ( yes Julian, we did get it right !) and Song and Shoma’s colourful works of art along with those made by Holly now remind us of their memorable stays. With one hand struggling to keep a  wobbly arrow straight and two screws balancing in pre drilled holes (smart), Greg’s drill decided to test Carly’s initiative…. the drill bit moved slower than the drill and the screws resisted all attempts to complete her mission. As usual, Greg picked up the offending drill and the thing worked…..ooops….it was set in reverse ! No worries Carly, we’ve ALL done it. Thanks for all the smiles, two weeks went very quickly.

My friend Lynne joins me in the horse stalls each day. As I hang the Stars and Stripes and the Union Jack to blow in the breeze over the barn, Lynne musters with brushes shovel and poo pickers In Lady’s stall. Unfailingly there is a bemused look on her face as she tries to work out where…on which mountain of poop she can start ! I swear one day I’m going to weigh the “outs” because there is NO WAY those horses can take that much food in ! Yesterday Lynne became responsible for me spending almost all day in the jungle that was my garden. Anyone who knows me well is aware that I would undoubtedly rather go to the dentist than weed the garden but, as we were SO efficient ( thanks to Lynne’s flying broomstick) all beds were made, water buckets filled and hay mangers stuffed all by break time ! The weeds in the garden have been taunting me over the past weeks and yesterday I went to war with my bucket, trowel and garden fork. The chickens spent the day following my progress through the chicken wire and a mountain of weeds were evidence of my diligence and determination. I even found a few potatoes an odd onion and out of nowhere….a single dill stalk. This morning I have been eaten alive by every living creature whose habitat I destroyed, my back hurts and my fingers are like claws. THANKS Lynne !!!

Our thanks to Tyler who came to visit yesterday and helped out on the ranch. His project was to restore  to its original place a road sign which had been demolished a year ago by the power company……though apparently the operator of the backhoe  which was attached to the bucket which knocked it over didn’t notice that he was responsible. Clearly short sighted ! Thanks Tyler for giving your day.

This morning the rain has started to fall, looks like Autumn has arrived. Time to go and get ready for another day. Take care, keep dry, M
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The Great Escape

9/12/2013

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Rodney the ram and his frizzy brown curly horned cohort have been living a celibate life style out in the back pasture. As far away from physical contact with their hormonal counterparts as we can possibly keep them, the boys have passed the Summer just catching an occasional hint of Nirvana in a passing breeze. All has been calm and peaceful in the ewe’s pen, each morning the Gentle Giant Meadows Ranch formation eating team wait by the gate to start their day mowing every blade of grass, every struggling sapling and every leaf within reach, no thought of their lovelorn mates in the far off pasture. That was until yesterday ! As the farm truck entered the gate and another day at the barn began it became evident that all was not as it should be. Rodney the black and white ram and Galveston the fuzzy brown ram were no longer contentedly co existing in the back pasture but were in the ewe pen…. surveying the only barrier that separated them from the ladies and clearly working out how to eliminate that barrier. Sadly for them (fortunately for us ) we arrived at the barn just in time to prevent rape pillage and plunder down on the ranch. The no blame policy was rolled out again and dusted off….It seems that one of the blonde female team ( we are ALL blond), the one with long hair ( we all have long hair !) didn’t close the gate after feeding the boys who apparently waited for the great escape under cover of darkness. Recovery of the reluctant rams and return to their pasture was only made more challenging by Bran the Border Collie who can somehow consistently complicate even the most simple exercise. With both rams heading in the right direction at full gallop, suddenly Bran the dog appeared, both rams stopped to glare at the dog, the dog sat to glare at the rams and no one was going anywhere. I guess the ram stare got a little intimidating for Bran who isn’t the most courageous dog in the world and with his tail between his legs he slinked away from the incensed rams…”after you boys, sorry to have got in your way”. The rams were securely locked up last night and the “great escape” will just be a “nearly moment” until October when they will be reintroduced to the waiting ewes and they will once again earn their rations.

Carly and Greg have been busily tandem mowing the pastures over the past days in record setting temperatures. Our young WWOOFER has become a real farm girl and has experienced the best and worst of farm life without losing her signatory smile through the dust dirt pooop and sweat, we are going to miss her when she leaves this week.

My friend Lynne from England is also having fun on the ranch and making the most of the peace and tranquillity that is Gentle Giant Meadows Ranch……except when the rams escape !! Loving having you here Lynne.

Take care, keep safe, M
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Its a Bad Day to be a Catapiller

9/10/2013

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It was a bad day to be a tent caterpillar on Gentle Giant Meadows Ranch. For several days now, walking back and forth from the horse pastures, turning out the sheep or leading the cows down cow lane… the intricate and expansive sticky…. spidery web… type nests that  are  nursery homes for billions of nasty hairy wriggling caterpillars have been catching my attention. Poor Greg, the writing was on the wall, if I mention it once and forget it, he can breathe a sigh of relief….if it is mentioned the moment he opens his eyes in the morning, as he closes his eyes at night and every time he crosses my path in the course of the day….he knows he has yet another priority to prioritise on his “must do” list. Tent caterpillar nests have appeared on trees all around the ranch, way up in the waving branches of he tallest maples and scattered through the draping boughs of the willow trees the offensive little creatures are munching their way through everything green….. and there is not enough room on this ranch for them and me !!!   A slightly apprehensive Lynne, not overly familiar with the local flora and fauna residents here in the Pacific North West followed at a cautious distance as Greg and I set off to do battle with a bunch of squirming nests and as branch after branch fell to the ground our nervous city slicker got even more nervous. Sadly, many of the “tents” are beyond our reach, Greg currently has a seriously gimpy foot….I think I have a broken toe and I’m pretty sure that there is NO way Lynne was going to climb that tree !!

Carlie took yesterday to discover Gig Harbor and took to the water for a three hour kayak paddle around the peninsula and then rode her bicycle home. She returned to the ranch before dark a little (lot) pinker than she had left , I’m sure a little weary after her epic paddle and pedal. With a glowing red nose and  armed with a bottle of Aloe Vera our adventurous young WWOOFER ended her day off from the ranch. We missed your smile Carlie !!!

Lynne, more familiar with a computer than a head collar and more used to office politics than barn yard antics is becoming quite the expert around the ranch and after her first hesitant attempts to apply the conundrum that is a head collar to Misty Moo’s pretty golden head she now confidently buckles up head collars on horses and cows without a second thought. Her managerial skills were utilized in the garden as I feverishly pulled weeds, sitting high on the tractor seat directing operations. Lynne’s very presence here on the ranch reminds me of another life…..in another world a very long way from here. Thank you for coming to America Lynne, I miss you.

The sun is going to shine again today, Lynne and Carlie are ready and waiting for Greg, Bran has an ear cocked waiting for the order to move and I guess it’s time I posted this entry.

Take care, keep safe, M
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Welcome Lynne, The English Invasion Continues. 

9/8/2013

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The sun is shining over the Pacific North West once again, we haven’t said goodbye to Summer just yet and the Winter woollies stay folded up in my closet. We have another girl team at the barn, proving that anything the boys can do we can do just as well ( ….maybe even better !) Lynne a dear friend  arrived from England on Friday her mind was willing and anxious to be down at the barn…sadly, her brain was still working on English time and she was suffering a melt down until an afternoon nap brought mind body and spirit into real time. Welcome to America Lynne !

Yesterday the Soay rams and ewe lambs left home and this morning mournful cries are filling the valley. Fortunately food is the cure for even the saddest loss here on the ranch and disconsolate moms will soon forget their absent offspring when the breakfast bucket appears. The sheep knew that something was brewing, they knew that normal routine was disrupted and that always means trouble of one kind or another. Their suspicions were confirmed when Greg and Carlie arrived at the pen and cast watchful eyes over the fattening lambs. The new owner of our rambunctious little flock set his heart on Chance and was quickly distracted…..no, you can’t have Alice either…..Carlie pounced on a curly coated brown lamb and captured it like a seasoned wrangler, the rest of the flock went into whirling dervish mode round and round the pen, Greg darted, the lambs ducked Carlie dived and one by one the chosen lambs were carried into the awaiting truck. Readers who are concerned about their welfare….they are off to start a new flock up in Bellingham, there will be no lamb chops or racks of lamb at least for the foreseeable future….so I for one will sleep in peace tonight.

Lynne looked a little concerned as she stood looking up at the saddle perched on Lady’s broad back…..her short legs surely weren’t going to reach the stirrups and once up….how was she going to get back down ? Carlie had no such concerns….she mounted the golden palomino, Charm and sat confidently waiting while her mount tried to work out whether he had a rider on his back or whether he could employ a little of the attitude that has become part of his persona. Both Carlie and Lynne came back to the barn still attached to their respective mounts (always a good thing) and both had big smiles on their faces (even better !).

Carlie has learnt to drive the tractor, the no blame policy wasn’t required, the barn wall wasn’t dented, she has learnt to use the chain saw and is wicked with the axe. If there is a challenge, Carlie will take it on, she has quickly become confident with power tools livestock and horses and become a fond member of the ranch family. Time is passing too quickly and our newest cowgirl/wrangler will be leaving next week.

Well, timed out again. Take care, keep safe, M
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So Much For A Peaceful Day...

9/4/2013

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SORRY !!!  Circumstances appear to have stifled my artistic inspiration and putting words together has lately been about as difficult as finding my way home without my GPS. …..however, today has been a real “blog moment” day !!!

We went to Bremerton to meet the ferry and our new WOOFER ( house guest/ trainee), Carly. My instructions were, as I was ejected from our now very dented ( no blame policy !) Chevy truck, to intercept and recover a young blonde white lady wearing a brown fleece, black leggings and a bicycle. So there I was, watching for all the identifying clues when I saw a bicycle wheel appearing from the elevator…I leapt forward smiling in greeting only to make very close eye contact and TOO close body contact with an old man with dark curly hair who clearly wasn’t Caucasian. Just to add insult to injury, at that moment I heard what I can only identify as Greg’s dog whistle…to me ??? Apparently, our young lady with a bicycle had found our dented old truck, we hadn’t found her, I hadn’t heard my cell phone and Greg had resorted to whistling me back. I was unsure whether I was expected to bark or growl !!!

I’d like welcome Carly who has arrived at the ranch for a three week visit and clearly shows the strength of character to survive even the most bizarre of days. Was there an earthquake today….a passing of the moon and sun…a solar eclipse ?

Mr. Beauty with attitude, Charm, the golden palomino chose today to wander out of his stall after I had assured Carly that he wouldn’t. The round bales that have reminded Greg just why he hates round bales….shifted and threatened the structural safety of the barn. The grass hay bale stack collapsed and the sheep had a mutiny. Bran the Border Collie rebelled and caused total chaos with the ruminant revolution and Misty the expectant Jersey Cow decided to check out the enticingly green world on the other side of her unsecured  gate.

Just to add insult to injury, rub salt in the wounds and make us wonder just why we got out of bed this morning….some low life has hacked into our e mail account. The post master has spent the entire day returning mail to us that we haven’t even sent…to recipients that we don’t even know. Consequently, we have to change all our passwords, which means that I’m going to be locked out of all our accounts until I become accustomed to our new enforced identity. I DON’T do change !!!

So, as the cuckoo clock  advises us that it is bedtime, as the  Fox 13 Meterologist surveys the double Doppler radar and predicts the second great flood and Bran the Border Collie heads out to water the flora and fauna, I look forward to tomorrow when Charm will stay in his stall, the round bales wont roll, the grass hay stays where it was stacked, Bran will behave like Lassie, the sheep will remember they are sheep and Misty will stay at home in the cow barn. Oh yes, and the human being without a conscience will realize how sad his existence really is. Take care, keep safe ( and out of our e mail account) M
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    Its me, Maureen, (the Boss)

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