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A lesson in what NOT to do !!!

9/29/2012

4 Comments

 
It all started so simply,…a trailer reversing lesson which would teach wonderful WWOOFER Carla the dos and don’ts, the musts and must nots of hitching, unhitching, reversing and parking the stock trailer. Done a million  (well, maybe not quite) times and only to take a few moments. Well, it didn’t all go quite to plan…it didn’t take just a few moments and Greg learnt more than Carla did !!! I guess there has to be one of those old tried and tested sayings that would be more than appropriate for the occasion… I guess Greg had a few tried and tested of his own ( which I am glad I never got to hear).

Greg tried to save a few moments and the ball on the truck hitch would do, it was a “bit” small but it was already attached and he would have to go and get the right one..he was only going a few feet, no problem (?). First lesson Carla….ALWAYS do what Greg didn’t, and get the RIGHT size hitch. Second big lesson Carla, and really heed this one, the brake chain is there for BRAKING and restraining the trailer.. should the wrong hitch ball be inadvertently used. As Greg was turning the big growling Ford…the trailer with the wrong ball and without the brake chain hit a bump ( that shouldn’t have been there !?). lesson three Carla, if you have a trailer which doesn’t meet lessons one and two, remember lesson three…don’t hit a bump ! So, there was Greg teaching Carla the finer points of trailering and said improperly hitched trailer slowly slid by his window. With the rubber mats nicely installed within, the tongue of the trailer pointed to the sky and the wheels ( incidentally Carla, lesson four !) NOT blocked….the trailer took itself for a short and clearly unplanned little ride...in reverse and right into the fence line which very fortunately stopped it continuing the disaster by planting itself in the culvert below.  So, Carla did get a lesson in fixing fencing out of all this…sadly, she already had that lesson but the whole incident will stick in her brain and she will (hopefully) always remember what she clearly SHOULDN’T do when moving a trailer. Great job Greg !! No blame policy called into effect…again !!

Malc and Annie continued to soldier on despite the strange behaviour in the pasture. Annie buried nose deep in the garden waging war on the weeds and Malc  (bless him) still constructing the newest edition of the Great Wall of China and trying to beat the rain which we know is inevitable. Thanks you two, and we hope that your day release off the ranch will be fun !

Well, news from the publisher and our book “QUEST and GERTIE a true story” will be out in November, if anyone would like a copy please just place your order..it’s fun being an Author !!

Got to go, take care, keep safe, M 
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Daisy May status...on wait !!

9/27/2012

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It’s going to be a quick entry this morning ! Five o’clock apparently did come…but it very apparently went even faster ! One cursory bleary eye poked out from under the comforter wanting to claim at least another hour and we quickly realized that not only was there no more cuddle time…we were one hour overtime!!

Baby watch came to an abrupt end for the immediate future after Daisy Mays dates were checked and re checked. Fingers in the air counted 9 months from the 29th of January when Wayne the man came with his smoking straw, finger count was re checked and the definitive new date was scheduled for 29 September….but was it ??? Out came the official Wayne the man ABS Parturition (birth date) Calendar and it appears 9 months gestation doesn’t necessarily mean 9 months when you are a cow…sometimes it is shorter and, you’ve guessed it…sometimes it’s longer!!! So, Daisy’s teats have been examined, squeezed jiggled and scrutinized looking for some sign of an impending birth. Her appalling hormonal behaviour has been forgiven due to her “condition” and it turns out our moody cow isn’t even due until 6 October!

Clearly sister Annie has quite the “need for speed” and, once firmly seated on the quad, out came the spiky little horns, the manic look in the eyes and Annie was off in a cloud of dust and a roar of the engine. We do have an established 10mph speed limit on the farm road…..violators are very firmly chastised…but did Annie the speed queen care ? as we ( yes, I was hanging on to the back of Annie,…screaming !!)  sped off up the farm road two “sort of getting old” teenagers giggled and howled into the distance.

Malc continued to dig his “this seasons” hole and promptly (yes, you have guessed it ) filled it in. The team worked like the proverbial chain gang, Quatre and Carla collecting the cement chunks, tractor groaning, muscles straining too. Greg stacked and packed cemented and mortared constantly mumbling…”this will make the Conservation people very happy”..”can’t wait for the rain”. The project is a success and we have the team to thank..once again !

Well, time to go, the troops are rallying, dog by the door and down at the barn a heavily pregnant, hormonal but “not quite ready” cow waits for her breakfast.Take care, keep safe, M
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It was A GREAT birthday !!!

9/25/2012

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Oh my goodness…where do I start ! The visitor beds have been faster changed than those in the Marriott in downtown Seattle. We had a lovely (and always entertaining) visit from Tony, Greg’s brother and his charming wife Debbie for a week when I returned from England. After one week, I can sympathise with their mom, those two boys STILL constantly spar although now they have laid down their toy swords and baseball bats ! Tony and Debbie made the deck their project for this seasons trip and I’m happy to report our deck would and will for a long time pass any health and safety inspection…probably qualify for a historical monument too !! Thank you both for all your hard work, we love you.

Before their beds were cold, I had yet another surprise when Twin sister Annie and her husband Malc arrived for yet another two weeks of digging and filling in holes…oh…and poo, lots of poo !! I was an amazing birthday and my thanks go out to everyone involved in keeping the secret…and to my big brother for being the one who managed to breach the secret with only 7 hours to go !!!  Poor John, he will take a good while to live this one down !!

Daisy May has still not delivered her calf…she is beginning to resemble a beached whale as she struggles to put one foot in front of another waddling up Cow Lane and is using her imposing condition for some pretty unforgivably hormonal  behaviour. Hopefully today will be her day as she is now overdue and getting lumpier and grumpier daily. Poor Goliath had a close encounter with a particle board wall yesterday when he happened to stand within three feet of  our expectant bovine. Even little Hol-ley with her devilish horns is keeping a safe distance and Misty the Jersey Calf appears to be trying to pretend she isn’t a cow…”do I have to go out to play with her ??”

While we are all on calf watch, Malc found a hole to dig… and fill in. Greg had a big smile on his face as a project stored in the recess of his brain for the longest time actually came to be. Malc dug the hole and a happy and enthusiastic Greg put the tractor to work ferrying stones and cement blocks to the site of the operation. Always intrepid Carla, still snuffling, sneezing and snorting in tune with me set to work with the men and my “waterfall” has come to be.

Annie can ( after the last poo ball has been laid to rest on the poo pile) usually be found buried in the garden. Buried is possibly the appropriate word as for the greater part of the afternoon Annie sported a designer black mud blob on the end of her nose. It is, between the two English farm enthusiasts apparently a competition as to who will get the grubbiest. We are gleaning the last ripe raspberries off the plants….before Doris the Deer beats us and have wrestled what are left of the juicy blackberries…after Doris the deer added them to her diet. We all bear the scars and have questioned why God created berries at all if (1) the best ones are always out of reach and (2) the thorns hurt so badly.

Quest is still recovering his weight, he is eating everything that doesn’t move and has added 1” to his girth size. It is great to see Quest and his mum back together again and he is happily receiving his admirers (as long as they  have a carrot or apple in hand).  The publisher has informed us that the Quest and Gertie book will be ready in November, it is apparently quite the piece of art with about 40 pages including full colour photographs…I’m excited !

Time to go, got to check on our expectant mom….Take care, keep safe, M    
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Poor Tux !!

9/22/2012

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As stated in my earlier diary entry, chickens are not very high up the totem pole in my 1-10 of most loveable creatures on the ranch….but clearly, here on the ranch Tux the rooster is going to have to be sitting there “cock a doodle doing” on the top of the totem pole all on his own. Tux is a Black lace Weindot ( sounds more like underwear !!) and Tux the Black Lace Weindot came to us by default. Holly our wonderous WOOFER who can somehow manage to maintain model girl appearance, finger nails, hair and lipstick all perfect and unchipped after three rounds with Rodney the Ram, cleaning out the chicken pen and a manicure session with the sheep…who don’t want a manicure !! gave us the rooster to cherish. Strangely Holly has pet chickens at home, chickens that are loved and pampered bathed and blow dried …one of such pampered chickens was Tux. Tux grew from the fluffy little sexless chick, absorbing all the love Holly could offer but Tux was harbouring a secret…tux has a testosterone overload and deep in the city where Tux was being loved and pampered, roosters are banned. Where else could her well loved rooster get the love and care to which he was accustomed..( Ummmm….where else ???) but Gentle Giant Meadows Ranch. Tux duly arrived while I was in England and gently introduced to the young pullets and baby roosters in the chicken tractor where he quickly established himself as a bird of considerable importance and stature. Amongst the babies Tux was a king, he strutted and he crowed, he acknowledged his importance and administered justice…he was in a  happy place.

Then came the day Greg decided that Tux the Weindot was mature enough and big enough to go out into the big wide world.  He could walk the walk, talk the talk and go and do the rooster thing in the Chicken Roost. Tux looked around, spotted a few feathered beauties with delightful floppy red wattles and determined that life was going to get better..much better. Tux strutted through the hen house and peeped through the door to survey his empire…sadly, at that moment Adolf the Rhode Island Red Rooster surveyed him. Adolph has been the most tolerant rooster, ruling his ladies with quiet but firm discipline but Adolph is getting old. Clearly NOT that old !! One beady Rhode island Red eye latched onto the insurgent posing in the hen house door and Adolph swelled. Adolph doubled in size, his feathers puffed and within seconds the two were locked in combat. Oh NO !!! not Tux !! It didn’t take long….Tux looking more like a little black hen scuttled into the corner of the pen and buried his head into the ground, tail in the air he remained motionless..trying to disappear. And there the big black rooster that was now the little black scared hen stayed.The rescue party didn’t take long to retrieve him and he was carefully transferred to the other chicken house where he could recover his composure and remember he is a rooster. Sadly, Tux was located crammed into a nest box, head in the corner and tail tucked in so far it looked like he had inhaled it !!! Poor Tux. The black Lace Weindot is back with the babies where is is loved and adored, he struts and he crows and for Tux the rooster, the world is good again. 

Today is my birthday, Thanks to everyone who has remembered me, special thanks to Tony and Debbie who are determined it will be special and even more thanks to Greg for loving me and helping me live our dream.

Take care, keep safe, M
3 Comments

Oh No !! not my turn again !!

9/19/2012

1 Comment

 
It’s inevitable, every so often, despite how hard you try to avoid it,… try to find something else to do or flat out stamp your foot NO !!….you will have the dubious honour of cleaning out the chicken coop. There is no escape and, armed with my empty, recycled washing powder bucket and a sweeping brush I headed off to do my penance for who knows what !! Cleaning out the “Roost with a View” can result in a clear and unchallenged diagnosis of the most severe case of PTSD. The common and pervading picture the average non farmer has of the common or garden hen is a pretty feathered bird quietly clucking and benevolently relinquishing her perfectly formed, hard shelled, shiny  brown egg from the warm and humid depths of the nesting box to a pretty little wicker basket. Sadly, Harriet the hen and her cohorts do little to build an image of domestic bliss and cleaning out the henhouse is to say the least,..challenging !!

Today was my turn and entering the henhouse door, 50 sets of eagle eyes challenged the intruder and 50 sets of unadulterated hostility dared me to venture further within. With bucket in hand and heart in mouth I faced off the first antagonist….the black and white Barred Rock hen, feathers all askew from an earlier conflict resolutely blocked my path. Loudly squawking, wattle flapping and every feather fluffed Charlie the chicken advised me that I was clearly out of my safe zone and well into terrorist territory. Adolf ( I know, not very PC but strangely appropriate) the Rhode Island Red rooster chose that moment to make an unscheduled entry into the henhouse and, faced with a resolute and extremely unhappy Charlie the chicken, attempted to blend into the woodwork and tactfully reverse his direction backwards down the ramp. Choosing ( with great difficulty!!) not to be intimidated by a two foot six feathered egg machine I set down my bucket and shovel just in time for the cackling volume level to be raised to maximum decibel. Beady eyes, nestled deep in wood shavings peered out from nest boxes and antagonistic chickens paced the roosting perches. One Eye, the neurotic ginger hen nervously walked back and forth, more concerned by her feathered family than by the intruder with the bucket and poor Adolf the Rhode Island Red rooster appeared to find himself more concerned by the ministering of his female flock than the English woman with a bucket and an attitude.

I’ve just emptied a luxurious glass of creamy mudslide, rich and deeply, sinfully, alcoholic…courtesy of our East Coast family. The chicken house, Harriet the hen and the cackling off the Richter Scale seem to have all blended into a warm and fuzzy haze. Cleaning the hen house…..concerned…intimidated…not me !!!

Take care, keep safe, M            
1 Comment

September 18th, 2012

9/18/2012

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She’s back !!!! More than a little bleary eyed ( at last I can blame baggy eyes on something other than advancing age) and struggling to stretch out 5 foot nine inches that was seemingly compressed into a crumpled ( and that’s nothing to do with age ) four foot six that fitted into an airline seat for over twelve hours ( that felt like twenty four !). I had a wonderful time, got loved up by family, reconnected with friends and in some cases was sharply reminded why I love the Pacific North West and the life we have here on the ranch.

 I got to be a granny,… a real granny that feels a connection with the children that are obliged to love a distant figure that for them clearly has no real relevance other than that there is a genetic link. I got to hug beautiful young ladies that were little more than toddlers when last I visited. I got to wander round fashion stores wondering when it was I got old.  I had to fight for use of the I Pad with a young man that used to fight for his Tonka truck. I learnt that young Georgia, ( please see “ Hope for Georgia “page )  despite the apparent hopelessness of her terrible syndrome has within her, almost overwhelming sense of unconditional love for her family. Without words her eyes could melt the hardest heart and when she chose to snuggle up to me for a back scratch I felt the most special granny in the world ! It was good to be back with my family and friends ……but it is wonderful to be home.

Greg’s brother Tony and his wife Debbie surprised me at the airport and are staying for a week of unadulterated slave labour here on the ranch. Quatre and Carla our resident WOOFER/ family were also happy to see me home ( the cookie tin has remained empty and the brownies never made the stove). Greg could hardly contain his happiness when I arrived home and Bran the Border Collie wagged his tail so hard he was in danger of dislocating his pelvis. Down at the barn I was reunited with our big boy Quest, back home here on the ranch, in the stall where he was born. Quest is looking better, the light is back in his eyes and clearly he no longer has a problem with his appetite.... the boy nearly eats his bucket too!!   We are convinced that the big bay Shire just gave up the will to live when he left the ranch and now back with everything he knows and loves he is recovering....it remains to be seen if Gertie the goose will remember her former passion when she returns from her migration in the Spring. 

Quatre got a little close and personal with the residue( liquid poo) of the muck pile yesterday. Quest, still well under his former condition but still possibly over 15 hundred pounds stomped his oversize hooves in a nasty black puddle and Quatre suffered the nasty smelly consequences.

Tony is firmly convinced that he is the victim of sabotage. The hosepipe had a suspicious bulge.. a threatening burst and Tony set to work fixing before it broke. Sadly, a fountain vaguely resembling the monument at Trafalgar Square, London erupted when he turned his back. It wasn’t me, I didn’t do it but it was my job to go and find the hapless “fixer”…..um…did you fix it….um..Tony, it’s still broke and it’s broke some more now !!! All’s good, the hosepipe now works and Tony was vindicated. Wife Debbie set to work trying to harvest the late crop of raspberries before Doris the destroyer added them to her entrees for the morning smorgasbord !  The entire garden and orchard…leaves fruit and branches appear to be the place to meet and greet for the local deer population…..Doris is no longer a welcome guest !!! 

Macho the buck is clearly feeling better, the “eau de buck” aroma almost reaches the house...(in fact, truth be told it possibly reaches the next state) and, reunited with his does, Alissia and Acorn, he is a VERY happy goat. If goats could smile, Macho would be grinning from one very smelly ear to another. Hopefully, in five months time our ardent lover will be a daddy and we will once again have several kids creating chaos and mayhem around the farm.

So, it’s back to normal again. The Stars and Stripes and the Union Jack fly over the barn in the sunshine and the “Boss” is back home. Take care, keep safe, M
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Practice on the tractor?!

9/14/2012

5 Comments

 
Ok, so driving a tractor should be no different from driving a manual transmission car. Well, we have a no blame policy here. That doesn't mean we don't mention it. Cameron was having a first lesson on the finer points of tractor driving. All was going well until that dang gate and fence post just jumped in front of her path! Oh dear. Not to worry, well more then one of us have dinged something. Others more so then others. But this was Cameron's first time on the tractor! HHmmmm...
Macho was due for a manicure. Problem with that is he is in full rut. Oh the perfume is strong. Hard not get is all over yourself. Well to add insult to the who;e procedure, when we let him go with a lead rope to direct him, Carla was right in the path and between her legs Macho went. Uh... Pants get washed down at the barn. All is well for Macho. He is walking so much better. Just in time for romantic moves toward the Alicia and Acorn.
Carla and Quatre have been very busy mowing the fields. Two purposes, one to reduce dry grass height for fire prevention and the other to get ready for the rains and allow room for the new grass to grow. But we do need that rain! Anyone know a good "rain maker"?
Sorry to rush off, but its that time again. 2 MORE DAYS and the boss is back.
Take care, stay safe G
5 Comments

Love is in the Air?

9/12/2012

1 Comment

 
Well its that time of the year on the ranch. Goats and Sheep have a 5 month gestation period. So it is time to re-introduce Macho to our young ladies. True to form, Macho will have to work at wooing the does over to his romantic advances. Lets hope his injuries from living with the cows won't effect his capabilities. More later.
Rain, Rain, Rain... We could sure use some here. All the pastures are dry as a bone. Most animals are now on winter feeding. Weather forecast says there is none in site. Hmmmm, maybe a rain dance would be in order. We will have to research the rituals.
Holly was back for a day to get a ranch/animal fix. She brought with her an addition to the menagerie, "Tux", a blue laced wyandotte. pretty fancy addition to our normal egg layers. He appears to be top dog in the chicken tractor. We did a rooster roundup in the Roost on monday, so he may find a new home there. He is a little older then the chickens he is with now, so maybe it will be time to put Tux in with the grownups.
We were a bit sad today, Cody and Song were off to a new home as pets. That is always a relief for our special little ones like Cody and Song. They are so loveable. We are sure they will make the kids happy and likewise for the goats. Everyone in the family was excited.
Sorry to cut short, but with Maureen in England, its double duty on my part and its time to start the day off down at the barn. 
5 MORE DAYS!!
Take care, stay safe. G
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Good to Go...

9/10/2012

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Good Morning to you all. I will apologize ahead of time for a short version today. I wanted to make sure that you at the least had a few pics to look at. We had a maintenance class in the morning on the importance of keep machinery lubricated. Hands on experience! Cameron also picked up the finer points of negotiating the quad with the two hood ornaments, horns and Bran! Big smile all around.
Quest was given a little worked out today. Quatre volunteered to be the willing subject to explore the unknown. We know that Quest has been ridden while he was gone and even gone on to advanced training from what we gave him. It was only a few minute ride and it was nice to see him calm and attentive. Quatre and I wanted to only have the "fallen" picture, but figured we better show the "real" event. Even without a bridle and bit. I know he is going to turn out just fine. Its all going to take time to gain his former self. We've got lots of time!
Carla and Cameron put the finishing touches on Lady's new stall. Couldn't keep Lady and Quest forever. Three times the mess for twice the horse power.
Well time to go. Holly has just showed  up for her GGMR fix and give us a Rooster that is being evicted from the city.
Take care, stay safe. 7 more day!!!
G
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Eight more days!

9/8/2012

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Good Morning everyone. Another fine day on the horizon with the sun peaking its blaze over the tree tops. Another hot one on the way and rain in sight. Yeah!!! as all ranchers and farmers need the rain. Pastures are like a tinder box, dry as a bone. Animals have very little to forage through. Its a good thing we have a good animal to acre ratio. All the animals are ready to come in out of the fields at the end of the day just to get out of the heat and for something good to eat. Winter rations are in effect for night time feeds and the animals are loving it.
Oh yes... only 8 more days to go before the "Boss" returns. Can't wait! We are a team in this all the way.
Yesterday was a morning in the beauty shop for the sheep. Nails were getting a bit long for some of them. So feign a morning feed and convince the sheep there is grain in the troughs... Slam the gate they are all in! Oh they do like their feet trimmed though. They all step so much more lively after its all done. And only two whoops. That's great when there are trainees. Oh but wait. It was Carla and I that got a little to close to the bottom. The apprentice was doing better than us pros! All in all we  got done in record time. Lots of good help.
We worked more on Lady's new stall as well. Right now Quest and Lady are room mates and loving it. Problem is they are getting so attached when one is out of sight of the other, there is anxiety. And anxiety in BIG horse can be a bit intimidating. We didn't have  that before when they were in separate stalls. We  should have that done today.
Jeff was able to put the finishing touches on the partition in Lady's old stall. It too is now ready for the new tenants later this month. We will then be up to  our full compliment of horses.
Oh and harvested plums yesterday. UMMMmm nothing like a tree ripened fruit. We did some pruning work this last spring, so we only got a few of the little gems. But boy are they good. Next year should be a larger crop if all goes well with the weather. There it is again, the weather.
Well as usual, running out of time. Troops are rallying and Jeff is getting ready to be on his way again. Take care and stay safe. G
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