Rodney is our Barbados Black Belly ram.  Up till this morning Rodney has been Uncle Rodney and mentor to the ram lambs who have all lived together in male isolation in Barn Field...far away as possible from the ewes, ewe lambs and temptation.  Today was handsome Rodneys chance for romance  but he took some serious persuasion to leave the safety of his pasture. Rodney is well aware that every other sheep that went out through that gate never came back and Rodney had no intention of becoming another statistic. Realising that Greg pulling and me pushing gave us an unfair advantage,tug of war just isn't playing fair in the sheep rule book ! So Rodney just lay down, in the mud, play dead. Bran was confused, how do you herd a lying down sheep ? Trying to lift a fairly hefty muddy playing dead ram who doesn't want to be lifted is a challenge but giving up isn't in our "how to" manual and Rodney was frog marched unceremoniously to the ewes pen. Miraculously, it didn't take long for testosterone to take over, instinct and happy memories flooded the brain, the gates were opened and the girls emerged cautiously, Rodneys nose curled in the air, the girls flirted outrageously and Rodney was in ram heaven. Rodney happy, the ewes happy, Macho very happy.....the does questionable ( there was a lot of complaining going on in the goat pen but then, the goats are always complaining !)  I'm sure Macho will persevere !. In 5 months time hopefully we will have lots of little Machos and Rodneys in the field, time will tell. All was quiet in the barn tonight, the 5 little doelings (removed for their own safety, bucks are no respectors of age) have settled in to their new accomodation,I think they quite like it, they are right there for passers by with peanuts. Apart from Machos' incessant  buck grunting ( chatting up the ladies in goat talk) all quiet , and in the sheep pen I swear Rodney has a huge smile on his face.  On a final note, tomorrow is Dianes' 50th birthday, Happy Birthday Rat. Goodnight all. Take care. M 

Oh, he's such a happy boy !!!  The girls not quite so happy. Macho is very enthusiastic...maybe too enthusiastic....actually, I think that the word is RAMPANT ! The does had been quite happy with their celibate lifestyle, eating sleeping and more eating suited them quite well, thank you. In truth, Macho had been relatively content, after all, what you have never known, you don't miss. His hit and miss attempts at practicing on poor Dollys' head, chest and side had not really satisfied his urges and Dolly certainly had been less than impressed...not good for the poor boys ego. Yesterday ( since the sun had been shining...hooray !!) we were very lucky, Greg had decided that it was to be THE day that Macho turned into a man, his days of boyish frolicking were over, he has a job ( or 3) to do. Once again, Greg was "this is how we do it.." I was "...but what if..????."  . Just like magic, serendipity or a miracle Dave and Michelle our Belfair angels turned up. As I watched the rodeo in the barnyard, I smiled, Dave and Michelle had never done farm varmits before..they have now and what a great job. The kids, (4 legged variety) were running in circles, Moms were on that side of the gate, and come hell, high water, Greg, Bran, Dave and Michelle, they WERE going to get to the milky bar . Dave and Michelle ducked and dived, the kids bucked jumped and shimmied, Greg threw the orders and the dog had a fiesta. I was there,..I had the gate and gave the scores !! Eventually, 4 behind bars and only Frosty still on the loose. Fatal error, right on the goal line, Mom just behind that gate and Frosty attempted an end around goal ( under the gate) and got his butt stuck. Dave went in there with a tackle ...and game over ! Thank God for Dave and Michelle, we would still be chasing those kids this morning !! Home team 5, Kids out and sidelined. Next issue, transfer Macho ( our buck in waiting) from his Summer residence and send him out to work. Macho, not fully aware of the pleasures of the flesh was resistant, to say the least and had no intention of leaving his bovine friends. Enter Dave and Michelle, undeterred by Machos' aroma ( pretty awful but to the girls it's an enticing afrodisiac) they waded in, lesser men ( and women )have quivered at the smell from 50 yards away ! but there they were, Greg on the end of the rope, pulling, Michelle up the rump, pushing...I had the gate ( again !!). Once Macho got the scent of the girls, instinct and lust took over, last seen, all thoughts of food, Dolly,  Molly    and celibacy were gone. We love a hard worker and I believe Macho is really going to put his all into his job. We'll see, in the Spring. Thanks Dave and Michelle, we love ya !! Time to go, 7.30 am , Take care, M

Last night was a carbon copy of the night before..and the night before that, .....I coughed and I spluttered and then I coughed and spluttered all over again until the alarm clock went off at 5am. I don't know why we need the clock, I was awake all night and because I was, so was Greg...so we watched the clock go around and listened to the rain and the wind together. I'm not sure if this is what the minister meant when we got married..."in sickness and in health..." at this stage I think Greg could get a Papal dispensation on the grounds of sleep deprivation ! Its a good job I'm the best ranch hand he can afford ! smile. I washed my hair this morning and spent an hour drying it...then I went down to the barn and it took 30 seconds to turn into a good impersonation of Bigfoot on a bad day. On a good note, water troughs didn't need filling, the rain had done a very commendable job, on a bad note, all the horse blankets were still soaking, all the horses looked like even their own mothers would disown them and the sheep and goats refused to go out of the barn. I slipped on skiddy turkey poop in the turkey pen and very nearly had an extremely nasty bath , I banged my head on the cattle squeeze and soaked myself with the hose pipe when I was supposed to be bathing a muddy Border Collie...It was shaping up to be a great day...NOT ! After scaring myself in the reflection from the car window ( have you ever done that,...really can't look that bad..can I ?) I resorted to putting my hair into a plastic bag to prevent further trauma. There I was in plastic bag glory and we got visitors to the farm,...it always happens to me. I can just hear it.."those English have some really crazy fashion ideas".  So, here I am, 3.30pm sitting up in the house, warm, dry and comfortable and  it's time to go down and start the second shift...where did I put my plastic bag ??? Here I am, back again after yet another impromptu bath or three. Somehow I managed to turn into entrees for a particularly nasty Buff Orpington who apparently objected to me stealing the eggs from her nestbox. Dont these birds realize that you dont peck the hand that feeds !  Nasty Buff Orpington with a taste for human blood has been evicted from the happy hen home and is going to find herself in soup...when Greg finds the time. Well, its 9.05pm, time to turn off the brain, take the hot toddy and hope that I'm not going to cough another night away. Take care, keep dry ( unlike us !) M

I knew I was asking for trouble that beautiful hot sunny day in the middle of the Summer, the beautiful hot sunny day when there wasn't a fluffy white cloud in the azure sky, the beautiful hot sunny day that I remember praying for rain, the beautiful hot sunny day that seemed a lifetime ago as I stood dripping from head to toe  in the pouring rain. I knew I was asking for trouble and I knew it would come back to bite me on the butt....I knew I'd be sorry...so very sorry !!! Someone very wise once told me to be careful what I prayed for and today I knew exactly what she meant ! Lying snuggled up in bed ( coughing  croaking and wheezing ) I could hear the rain...not a gentle pitter patter, more like Niagra Falls hitting the window pane. The wind was blowing and I could hear branches creaking and straining...please, not another downed tree this year and please, not another extended power outage...not yet ! All day we dodged  torrents of rain, watched black clouds skitting accross the sky and caught missiles launched by the unforgiving wind  ( we really shouldn't have left that bucket out in the yard !!). The horses stood, rumps to the weather and gave us the " you cannot be serious" look, The goats moaned to get out and moaned even more mournfully to get back in , Dolly Molly and Macho retreated into their barn and we hardly saw a dewy cows nose all day. .... Lamb Chop and Daisy May never stopped complaining ( loudly ) all day....nor did I ( even more loudly !!!)  Don't get me wrong, I can do rain, I came from the North West of England , thats probably capital of the rain world, in a few million years, NW Britts will probably have evolved with webbed feet, we expect rain.....but what went on today from dawn till dusk wasn't just "rain". I think we need to start building an ark, we've got the two by twos....but if I suggest another project for Greg I think it will send him over the edge !! Ok, Gregs put Bran out, TV's off, cuckoo clock said 10pm...bedtime....AND IT'S STILL RAINING !!!! Take care, keep dry. M 

It's been a tough few days, I have had real trouble talking ( Greg thinks it's great !!!) My Maryln Monroe sexy husky ( early cold) voice turned into a gravely squeak ( Micky Mouse on a really bad day !!), I think my voice box has curled up and died. My nights have been spent sitting up in bed to try and control coughing ( not too successfully, so the bags under my eyes feel like backpacks) My days have been spent trying not to sound like either Marilyn Monroe or Micky Mouse....just get better, so far with no success !!! Today has been the pits ! The rain has become incessant, (the mud intrusive, the water filling our boots and the daily feeding ritual a soggy mess). Yesterday was a LOT of fun, Washington State University used our ranch for a meat goat  class and we met the nicest people,... it's strange how total strangers can feel like friends in a few moments and we found out that we were doing things right.....how cool is that !!!smile. This was our first experience working with WSU and we loved it. Now we are faced with a new issue, our farm will be turning into an "x rated" environment. There will be some humping and bumping going on in the next few weeks. I don't hold out too much hope for young Matcho,he has all the right assets, and testosterone is just slow cooking  or he seems to be seriously directionaly challenged....he has been trying to "do his thing" on Dollys'  head / side  so I'm a little bit concerned to say the least  that he is going to "get it right " Time will tell. . Rodney is an experienced older ram and when he goes in with the girls, the job may not be done in the fast lane but age and experience will tell !!! Oh well, its 9.15pm and time to send the dog out to meet the nightime monsters. He doesn't seem to realise that when we send him out for his nightime pee in the rain and he comes back dry..there is a problem . Off you go Bran.......! (  If there's a puddle in the morning you're in trouble !!) I'm hoping for a better night and with a bit of luck a voice, not a growl in the morning. Take care, M 

I feel AWFUL !!!! Last night my throat started to scratch and my voice started to thicken. This morning I woke up and had a growl deeper than a rotweiller and my throat felt even scratchier. I managed a full day down at the barn but have to admit that there was one overwhelming thought in my mind.......bed !!! Tonight,....I almost don't have a voice and my throat feels lacerated, not scratchy. My joints ache and my bones hurt, I've had a hot toddy......but could have downed the whisky. I'm going to bed to feel sorry for myself. Take care, M 

We hit the ground running when we get to the barn in the mornings, the sun is barely up, the roosters are contemplating crowing and the heron just heading to the pond for breakfast..... but when I open the huge barn door, 6 sets of equine eyes are watching, 6 horses are waiting impatiently for breakfast, each wanting to be first.  Quest, our 19 hand Shire gelding stretches his head out of his stall to have his ears scratched, Lady takes the opportunity  to scratch her butt on the wall, Hassan ( aka the Terrorist) does 30 circuits of his stall, Charm ( beauty with attitude) the golden palamino boots his door impatiently ( then ducks inside his stall because he knows there will be consequences). Towards the end of the barn, Doc hyperventilates and Apache the paint whinnies. Outside in her pasture, Destiny our beautiful old grey mare does a circuit of her hay feeder and whickers in anticipation.The local pigeon troop line up on the telephone wire watching...waiting for breakfast scraps that will surely come. Lamb Chop in his pen waits for footsteps and standing on his back legs lets out his unique Aaaaaaaagh, ( not BAaaaaa). Multifunctioning, I raise the flags  (making sure they are both the right way up ...can get a bit embaressing when they aren't !!!)  in their field beside the flag pole, Molly Moo, Dolly and Macho sidle up for the treats they know I will be carrying and the chickens loudly skwaking, follow the wheelbarrow along the fenceline piled up like multicoloured dominoes. In their pen, the rabble of turkeys set up a chorus and line up to beat the buckets to their feeder, Thanksgiving and Christmas luckily far from their turkey minds. The goats are bleating pleadingly to be first,  the sheep baaa and fresh from the dew filled pasture, the Black Angus cattle bellow for attention. In the warmth of the barn the 3 cats, Tiger Shy and Lucky check out their food bowls, with a bit of luck they will, by magic have been refilled, mouse hunting is tiring work. The dawn farm chorus fills the air( sorry neighbours !) and only silences when buckets and feeders are empty and discarded. All is calm, all is still, we can take time to breathe again. .....at least it's not raining, snowing., stormy...there's always tomorrow. Take care. M 

It's Autumn.....ok, Fall, that means several things in the life of the farm. It means that getting dressed in the morning takes a lot more consideration than in the Summer. How many layers do I need ? pockets for copious pairs of gloves, nearly all missing the ends of fingers or a red left and a blue right hand glove (but it's comforting to know they are there).  Three pairs of socks and rubber boots, T shirts working up to heavy sweaters complete the sumo look, I hardly recognize myself in the bathroom mirror and talking of bathrooms...I need to find it 10 minutes before I need it because it takes so long to be "operational". Autumn also means that there is love ( or lust) in the air. Rodney the ram will be re introduced to his ladies.  Macho will, for the first time be taking his place with the goats herd, he has been living with Dolly and Molly Moo and is clearly confused. He has been spraying himself all over and thinks he smells irresistable but the cows are less than impressed, the sheep avoid the fence line and Macho is ready and waiting ( not too patiently !) for love. Dolly and Molly had their date with Wayne the AI man, no passion and no bull but hopefully 2 little calves in July. All being well, March will bring lambs and kids to gambol in the pastures and the cycle will begin again. Autumn means fertilizing the fields, bringing in the wood for the Winter and making sure that all the drains and ditches are cleared and ready for  torrents of rain and snow. Autumn means cobwebs highlighted by frost, frozen gate locks and hosepipes , muddy horse rugs and steaming hot chocolate over the wood stove.  Autumn on the ranch is Heaven and Hell but we love it.  ......Oh....and Christmas is on the way !!!Got to go, take care, M 

I'm sure it was waiting for me, lurking in a slimy puddle just outside the garage door. There I was, minding my own business, 10 dozen eggs in a box, Gregs computer bag over my shoulder,  truck keys between my teeth and I stood on it in my bare feet. A Seattle slug, a huge Seattle slug, squelched slime between my toes and I thought all my worst nightmares had come to visit as I hopped up and down in the garage but the day was only going to get worse. I was out in Cow Lane, standing in the pouring rain, water running down the back of my neck, realising that my tennis shoes have sprung a leak as my socks started to take in water and things all started to go very wrong ! Greg opened the gate to the sheep pen, Bran was poised, the sheep knew where they were supposed to go.... but they went the opposite way...the cows, whose breakfast had been so rudely interrupted by the baaaing rabble headed them off and dog went one way, Greg another and the flock of sheep spread to all points of the compass. Sheep disappeared, Greg disapeared and dog disappeared...me, all alone in Cow lane with soggy neck, hole in shoe and a very bad hair day pondered the consequences. The cows bored by the inactivity resumed their breakfast,  (  and I thought how good they were going to be on a plate with A1 sauce !!!!) eventually sheep heads appeared around the corner of the barn,  Bran looking "sheepish" ( no pun intended) and tail between his legs followed and shortly after, Greg, less than impressed with the whole situation frog marching Katie ( our only ewe with horns)  back to the pasture. Katie had apparently taken refuge in Gregs workshop and had left several calling cards before she had been discovered. I have a feeling she may be lamb chops and mint sauce the next go around ! Discretion being the better part of valour, I chose not to mention the swear jar.....I paddled through the mud in my soggy tennis shoes, and wondered what else could go wrong !.  There was still a lot of daylight hours to fill !!!  Times up, I'll have to learn to type with more than 1 finger, smile.  Got to go, take care, M

Yesterday was a banner day for the swear jar, the stock market may have been rocky but my swear jar was most certainly in the green. The cause of the black cloud of proffanity hanging over the ranch....you've guessed it....Dolly the mutant cow. We had to give Dolly and Molly Moo their hormone shots between 7 and 8pm...sounds simple and straight forward doesn't it ????? NOT !! We are talking cows here, cows are on their own agenda, cows don't recognise our clock, cows are governed by their 4 tummys and cantankerous attitude and when they say NO WAY, they mean it. Luckily, Dolly has an addiction for carrots, apples and peanuts which last night  got her back into the cattle squeeze slavering and drooling apple juice and peanut shells. That was significantly the easy part ( though my aching muscles don't recognise it !!) the reason for the whole exercise, the Ladies had to have a hormone shot and remove the blue straws from their butts. Dolly didn't take kindly to either process...Dolly the mutant has the hide of a rhinoceros....thank goodness she didn't have the horn ! I swear she jumped 12 inches in the air when Greg stabbed her with the needle. Greg swore a lot more colourfully than me....he let loose a string of profanities that would make his mom blush ( and fill my swear jar in time for the holiday. smile) The syringe broke off the needle as it hit the side of the squeeze and lost all the contents.  The hormone doesn't work on the skin, it has to be inside the little vixen.....and  vixen is NOT what Greg called her last night!   With one syrnge down and a madder than hell Dolly securely in the squeeze we reverted to plan B and Mollys hormone shot was used before Dolly was released. One frantic phone call to our friendly vet and Greg was hot footing it to pick up another dose of  hormones ...with 10 minutes to spare in the hour window both ladies were fully hormoned up and stage 2 was completed.  Thursday brings stage 3...I'm not sure I can cope !!! Time to go, maybe I can go shopping with my swear jar earnings, smile. Take care, M