The quote for the day, one which I’m sure will be remembered and repeated over a glass or two of wine over the coming years has to be “ You give me the knowledge and I’ll provide the entertainment”. With an extravagant bow and a flourish of his arms Derek promised us 5 more weeks of a special kind of humour. The reason for all this joviality….?
Two of my Rhode Island Red ladies were not tucked up happily clucking in their nest boxes last night, they were hunched up in the hospital pen feeling more than a little sorry for themselves and happy to have been saved from the rape and pillage which has recently been the order of the day in the hen pen. Our two resident and much loved Rhodie roosters Adolf and Adolfs brother Adolf ( well, they look the same so we can’t tell the difference!) have been usurped by the younger, apparently more virile and less hen pecked roosters. The hens have been noticeably ravaged as the boys ranged in groups looking for lust and the ladies weren’t happy. Small clutches of ladies, denuded of feathers and backs lacerated by enthusiastic rooster spurs were hiding in corners, lingering in nest boxes or making themselves inconspicuous on the top roost. The decision had been made to tone down the male population and the recent inappropriate and very distasteful activity just confirmed our decision…the roosters had to go!!! The next decision was …how/when do we remove the offending birds, enforce celibacy and transform hormones into chicken burgers? After dinner the band of three, Greg, (resigned to a rooster  round up) and our two woofer interns enthusiastic for another round of new experiences headed back down to the barn. That’s when the entertainment started…(.with respect Derek)…..Have you ever heard the story of the old ram and the young ram? (sorry, I’ll save that for another time!!). Derek zinged round the hen house…Dereks arms waved, reportedly his legs were going in five directions at once and his eyes were glazed. Derek was on a mission but the roosters weren’t co operating. Greg and Lesley stood quietly and observed, Lesley watched and the roosters continued to give our young intern his work out. Then Greg moved. Greg calls it the “preying mantis” move, effortless and very effective, look left, pretend the object of your intention is in your line of sight then grab the rooster "roostering" on the right! Works every time. From the house I watched the rooster eviction and then shared the fun when the guys returned. We should have happy secure hens today and the boys wont have long to consider their celibate state. Our rooster buyer comes on Saturday.
Timed out again, we are having too much fun with our Californian friends…time for another day. Take care, keep safe, M

I’m sorry!!!! When God made me he gave me a challenge, actually more than one challenge, one of which ( and significantly the worst !) is hair which morphs into something closely resembling Bob Marley’s dreads! Now on some people, dreads look great, on some people dreads are meant to be….but on a blue eyed dirty blonde it just looks plain and simple.. WRONG!. Just a little sprinkle, even a gentle mist is enough to generate the transition and it has to go. Yesterday morning it was  time and although I knew that the “almost daily diary” was going to be a non event, Mom would be left hanging as to what was happening in the Pacific North West and Mum J wouldn’t be able to know why she was hanging onto her angel, ‘cause she didn’t know what trouble we were getting into!!! I took time to dry my hair straight again.

Happy to report frizzy dreads are gone(I’m going to have to resort to the plastic bag trick if it happens again!) and things are back to normal, whatever “normal” might be around here! WOOFER intern Jasper from Wisconsin left yesterday evening after a very busy and challenging day on the ranch. It was a challenge managing to pin Jasper down for his tractor photograph Jaspers Mom,…but I was tenacious ( as always, smile) and Greg will post said photo WITH a smile. YEAH.  We all hope that Jasper thoroughly enjoys his new internship at a farm in beautiful Virginia and that his future is happy and successful. Good luck Jasper. As previously mentioned, yesterday was busy. Again, this is where I have to report as it was reported to me because I did a very smart “exit stage left…or right…but most definitely exit!”. The Sumo chickens went to chicken Heaven and our WOOFER interns and little Mica learnt the finer arts of a quick and painless despatch. The Wizz Bang chicken plucker was dusted off and amazed the uninitiated “class” in the speed and ease of chicken plucking. I keep well out of the way but am proud of the way Greg manages to teach such a sensitive subject and even prouder of the enthusiasm and willingness to learn shown by the class of 4. Final note…no body passed out, 911 didn’t have to be called and our freezer is stocked with healthy all natural chicken.

Well, it’s almost time to get back to back down to the barn, Greg has finally  got around to downloading the promised photographs so, if anyone was caught unguarded or nose from the wrong side, I’m sorry. Thanks Moms and Mum for supporting the Daily diary, I will try to keep you all informed! Take care, keep safe, M

Happy Monday…and it’s been raining! Here we are with our hay team chomping at the proverbial bit, ready to build up the biceps and the six packs and its raining. DOH !!

Yesterday was quite the day, the “dream team” ( yes,  that’s us, actually it’s Greg and our three WOOFER interns, I’m pretty useless right now!).  Everyone got to have the afternoon off, piled into the Chevy and headed off to Mary’s’ for a bar-b-q. As always, the food was great, the company greater and the wine was flowing freely.

Wendell the Boston Terrier was determined to make friends with everyone and extra special friends with some. The Chevy got Wendell’s signature down the wheel well, much to Bran, our Border Collie’s  disgust and Mary’s Nigerian Dwarf kids formed a lasting impression on our young guests. With Costco’s apple pie being liberally shovelled onto a paper napkin as we passed, we reluctantly dragged our feet to return to work.

Smiles quickly returned when the saddle and bridle were dusted off and Lady was tacked up ready to take Derek out for a one horse power, one ton ride. If the truth has to be told..and would I ever tell anything but the truth?, I think that the camera caught more than one gut wrenching grimace when our would be jockey mounted up, Lady is quite the work out and even Derek’s height wasn’t going to save him. ( I did catch the look of pain, I think I have several photographs to remind him of the moment, as if he is ever going to forget it ). We haven’t seen our Californian pair yet this morning, I am anxious to make sure he didn’t dislocate his hips. Smile. Seriously, he had THE biggest smile on his face as he headed out of the barnyard, I don’t think I will ever forget that smile either! Leslie next?

Jasper, Leslie and Derek got to drive the tractor on Saturday…Jasper had insisted on having a BIG field and nothing close enough to kill and Greg found him just the spot during a fencing afternoon. Since I was still under “house arrest” I watched from the bedroom in between checking the progress of the lamb roast and playing “mom” to a newly hatched chick that appeared to prefer a feet waving in the  air position. Happy to report said chick eventually recognised that lying on his back wasn’t the best way to start life as a chicken and is now, with his feathered siblings terrorizing the newest hatchlings. Jasper did GREAT Mom and Greg didn’t sign up for Prozak as a consequence. Well done Jasper, Leslie and Derek!

Well, timed out again, have a great day, take care keep safe, M

Ps Dereks Mom….Both Derek and Leslie have appeared from the depths of the daylight basement and they both looked GREAT and enthusiastic for another action and poo packed day.

Happy Saturday! Well, yesterday was spent up at the house, possibly it would have been better if I had been restrained to my bed but me trying to behave myself and NOT interfere in the “going on” down at the barn are a bit impossible…(a lot impossible) and I minded everyone else’s business from my vantage point overlooking the farm!
Macho the buck apparently tired of the company of Daisy may and lamb Chop, actually fairly understandably. Currently Daisy is a bit miserable and a LOT loud as she is experiencing her monthly quest for the bull that will never come and Lamb Chop, well, Lamb Chop just never smells too good due to his rear end issue. Macho decided an unauthorised check out Wilbur the Terrible who, having checked out of his previous accommodation is currently in temporary lodgings here at the ranch. Macho decided to use the pile of railroad ties to give him a vantage point to climb and drop in on the new hairy occupant in the adjoining pasture. From all accounts, Wilbur was unimpressed by the strange new companion and Macho the buck apparently even more unimpressed by his very hairy new companion with the strange haircut. Mica unconcerned by any attempts at intimidation from the pony evicted the buck unceremoniously from Wilbur’s pasture.
Derrick and Lesley survived a day under Greg’s instruction and came up to the house wet and tired but happy and smiling. It is going to be fun taking them through the experiences of the ranch over the next two months. Jasper took a huge leap of faith yesterday and walked Lady back from her pasture. Jasper has been a very helpful member of the ranch man team and has never refused a project but from the first moment, the Shire horses were considered with more than a little trepidation. I was SO proud of him but….since I was under house arrest and Mica wasn’t there the camera didn’t catch the moment. There’s always today ….maybe!
Quick update on the chicks, there are now 5…one not looking too sprightly but it’s still cheeping so where there’s a cheep there’s hope!
Well, it’s time to go, take care, keep safe, M

Well, today didn’t quite go to plan but I’m not going to dwell on it, it was a beautiful day, the sun shone, we got the farm garden almost weeded, the chicks started to hatch…and I got a headache!
OK, start again, today was REALLY just one of those days. The chicks started to hatch, yesterday afternoon but I guess we got a slow starter and his first little peck really didn’t progress much despite all the willing on it got from an extremely enthusiastic Mica and Jasper. This morning we expected Bran the dog to be parked in front of an incubator rocking with the sound of cheeping chicks…nothing!!! The peck was not much bigger and the chick was peeping from inside an egg with a dried up membrane. A little assistance was offered and the chick emerged much to Micas delight. Now there are two chicks and several more eggs with suspect little chips in them. Update tomorrow morning on the increase in our poultry population…watch this space.Friday morning and I’m back on “house arrest”, no, the sheriff didn’t get me, it was the back police…and that’s even more scary, smile.
During the night another little yellow chick emerged from its shell, total count currently stands at three with several suspicious chips in the eggs being batted around the incubator by the very active band of three.
Derrick and Lesley arrived courtesy of Amtrak all the way from California to spend a month interning here at the ranch under the woofer programme (oops, I think that is English spelling and I don’t know the translation spelling!) We are really enjoying getting to know all our “guests” and are managing to complete projects we planned before my body decided to stage it’s revolt. I’m sure that our new guests are going to fit in well and their enthusiasm is contagious! I’m not going to be there this morning, I hope Greg is gentle on them…he doesn’t have his “Boss” T shirt on. (smile) Quatre left to go back to Seattle for a week, she was only here a short while but I know we are going to miss her and look forward to her return. For some reason yesterday I think I decided to talk to both Quatre and Jasper at the same time….I was calling them both Casper! I’m blaming it on the medication!!
A neighbour advised us yesterday morning that their pony, Wilbur had made a break for freedom and hadn’t left a forwarding address. After promising to keep an eye out for the escapee we set to work on the jungle that had sneakily grown up around the blueberries. Greg bribed the workforce that lunch would be served AFTER the row was denuded of the offending weeds. Stupidly I commented that the pony would arrive just as we were going to lunch….and Wilbur did, right on cue! In the truck at the corner of the road there was a sign “Found, chestnut pony”. Chances were that Wilbur was the only chestnut pony wandering the neighbourhood so we were bound to report our find. Update on Wilbur the terrible, happily chomping on grass, safe and well in our pasture until his mom gets his pasture fencing made Wilbur proof. Lunch was delayed, Greg was further convinced that I possibly originated in Salem with a black cat and a cauldron but we were so glad we could help.

I’m under orders not to misbehave and I did promise the back police that I would take it easy so I’m going to wish you all a great day, take care and keep safe. M     

Good morning, ominous clouds skitter across the early morning sky, a slight breeze twitches the extended branches of the cedar trees and MJ, weather guru on FOX 13 calls for rain. Now, here on the ranch, a bit of the wet stuff can be a good thing. Rain keeps our pastures lush and green, green pastures make fat healthy lambs and Dolly and Molly Moo will hopefully have their calves in July whilst the grass is still growing and mommys milky bar is creamy and rich. On the other hand, rain makes some chores uncomfortable, miserable or just impossible. The weeds flourish in the vegetable garden and being the very enthusiastic gardener that I am…(NOT),the prospect of weeding in the rain doesn’t make me rush out there gardening tools at the ready!
Yesterday was house moving day for 11 of the sumo chickens. We have forcibly “persuaded” the overweight birds to take a little exercise….sumos typically consider the two steps from the feed to the water to be excessive and doing what must be done after food and drink is generally just right where they happen to be when the urge overtakes them( not too hygienic!!). With this batch, we have blocked off the escape ( back into prison!) and enforced “normal”chicken behaviour on them. Reluctant at first, the exercise has been a great success and the sumos have taken to pecking and scratching with relish..they actually look like they are enjoying their life. Their new accommodation is a specially constructed chicken tractor which was still under construction yesterday. Greg Jasper and Quatre all on their knees making the roof….whilst Edgar the eagle, presumably tummy rumbling at the closure of his fast food diners, impatiently sailed the thermals immediately overhead. Clearly his binocular vision has spied fat somo chickens sprawled out in the hot summer sun but chicken was most certainly not on his menu and the boy team ( and Quatre) had the roof securely (we hope) attached before dusk. Mica was ,as usual closely watching progress and ..you’ve guessed it, captured pictures right way up, upside down and sideways. Thanks Mica.
Mica and I (when she wasn’t glued to the camera) once again got to work in the garden. Greg had planted peas beans and corn….and the cats have transplanted them. Those 3 cats have a 40 acre potty box, why do they have to select our corn patch to be the perfect spot!
Quatre leaves this evening, we will be sorry to see her leave. Conversely we look forward to the arrival of Derrick and Lesley from California this evening. It’s a lot of fun getting to know the different personalities of our WOOFER interns and we are really enjoying the experience.
Well, times up again, the cuckoo clock just choked on 7.30am and its time to move. Take care, keep safe, M

Just a quick diary entry today, Tuesday wasn't spent at the Ranch, I was otherwise occupied and if truth be told, I think I would have been a happier rancher if I had been in chicken poo, three feet deep and steaming smelly in 77 degrees. That being said, I made the acquaintance of some REALLY special people and if any of them happen to remember the Brit who caused so much anxiety today, thank you, I will always remember your kindness and thoughtfulness.
Jasper and Quatre, our wonderful WOOFER interns held the fort in our absence and, on the hottest day of the year thus far proved that (1) they must have had GREAT training and (2)..we aren't indispensable!.....DOH !!!! When we got home in the late afternoon, Greg put on his rancher hat/head and headed down to the barn. Update on Madame Gimpy who was reluctantly persuaded to take an enforced rest away from her triplets and unexpectedly turned into a “milk sheep” on Monday evening. Gimpy managed to cross the pasture at almost the speed of light to snaffle a carrot treat. Hopefully that means that her feet are feeling better….Gimpy,as her name implies has had a foot “issue” since her arrival here and between her sore feet, udder the size of a barrage balloon and her weight loss has been causing us more than a little concern. Happily, her milky bar was not as engorged yesterday and not looking like she has bagpipes hanging between her bandy back legs. We will be glad when she is back to her normal feisty self, stamping her feet at Bran and growling long and low.

Well, all events yesterday were second hand and today I am back at the barn…..not quite as good as new but ready to get back to work.

Thanks again to Jasper and Quatre, it was reassuring to know the ranch was in safe hands. Time to go, keep safe, M 

Me again, it’s been a really busy day and several “blog moments” have caught my imagination. Fortunately little Mica has become welded to the camera and in the several hundred photographs she has taken throughout the course of the day I am fairly certain that those moments have been captured several times..from every angle, right way up, upside down and sideways on.

The “girl team set to work on the raspberry patch, raspberry patch being a very optimistic description of what was a very overgrown weed garden. Why oh why can’t my plants grow as fast as my weeds can?  In the distance we could hear the man team, Greg and ever enthusiastic Jasper creating yet another chicken tractor intended to house the ever growing and increasingly obese sumo chickens.The girl team set to work with a vengeance, weeds weeds and more weeds heaped the wheelbarrow. The chickens watched the activity expectantly, quivering wattles and sharp beady eyes charted our progress from behind the fence line. Chickens squabbled and the roosters mediated. All “roostering” activity was postponed pending the arrival of the weed wagon..and Mica, with Camera at the ready was ready willing and able to record the moment…once again from every angle, you’ve guessed it, from every angle right way upside down and sideways!

Due to our “back issues”, riding the horses has been an activity that we have eagerly anticipated but wisely (  I guess) postponed. This evening a very chubby Lady and an extremely obese Charm were saddled up. Sadly, Charm is apparently unaware that his body is currently not that of a rodeo horse and despite his unfit state made a short ride more than a little memorable. Beauty with attitude is a totally appropriate description and that horse is going to realise that the holiday is over. Charm is, from today going to earn his hay ration.

Gimpy, Greg’s favourite ewe has, for several days been a concern to us. In the early Spring Gimpy surprised us with a set of triplets which she nurtured whilst her own condition suffered. Gimpy has been assigned a place of rest where she can, hopefully recover her strength. Gimpy is not overwhelmed at her enforced isolation and even less overwhelmed with her swelling udder since the milky bar was closed down. Executive decision was made regarding the emaciated looking ewe and the girl team and the boy team set off expectantly to do a little "wild" sheep milking. Straws were offered for willing or not so willing milkers, carrot feeders, soothers  and Mica, camera ready,( you've guessed it!) to catch the moment, right way up, upside down and side ways on. Apart from not being over enthusiastic about entering the milk stand and having a little shove and heave in, Gimpy was a star and almost got to relax and enjoy the experience. Mica also turned the camera over (temporarily) to Quatra and learned to milk a surprisingly docile Gimpy. Well done Mica!
Well, the cuckoo clock has cuckood, a friend in England is waiting for an update on the latest crisis, disaster or state of unrest over here on the ranch so I had better go and disappoint her. Alls well, we are FINE and with the help of our WOOFER friends getting a lot accomplished. Take care, keep well. M

Happy Sunday! I have just watched the weather forecasts for the rest of the United States, 90’s, 100’s…110’s….the presenter went from north to south, east to south west and Seattle remained unnoticed and ignored, it’s lowly 64 degrees unremarkable in comparison. We will happily keep what we have if it means that we don’t have to take the forest fires as trade off. We feel bad for the South West and hope that it comes under control sooner rather than later.

Here at the ranch, in drizzly rain and under a canopy of grey clouds the A Team went to work putting a net over the chick nursery pen up here by the house. Since Edgar the eagle, Harold the hawk and Ozzie the owl will discover that their favourite fast food diners have been closed for fly by diners and any drop ins will have a major issue trying to get out. When discovered they will be less than graciously welcomed! Young Mica helped me in the raspberry patch, trying to find the raspberry canes! The chickens and roosters had anxiously lined the fenceline whilst the wheelbarrow piled higher and higher with the unwelcome growth from my raspberry patch and when Mica and I took the wheelbarrow into the pen chickens came from every corner of the Roost. Adolf the Rhode island rooster and  Adolfs brother  tried to keep some semblance of order but those girls were just too excited to be under control. There were chickens on the pile under the pile, the pile grew longer and wider as chickens selected their favoured tit bits and soon the pile was all over the pen. Thank you Mica for your help, we got mucky but we had fun and we got the job done. The A team at the Nursery pen also completed their project so everyone is safe and well now. Thank you Jasper and Quatre for helping Greg. Time to go, it’s 7.30 and another day begins. Take care, keep well and Mum J,  keep strong. M

It was sunny yesterday, one of those days when it looks like the whole world goes out to play..but not me! I was off on another doctors visit and I have to say that I was more than a little embarrassed walking into the Dermatology and Laser clinic….people might have thought I was having a face lift or a nose job..who, me?….where was that clinic again? Smile. I went in feeling fairly comfortable that the brown marks on my face were old age marks, and came out with”pre cancer” marks which, in10% of people in 10 years MAY turn into cancer. So, out came the Liquid Nitrogen spray and I was zapped 3 times, now I have 3 blisters and look like I have Leprously! But its all good and I have been reliably informed that I will look normal again, someday.

Quatre one of our WOOFER interns got into the drivers seat of the big tractor yesterday and did a great job…kind of a bit of a disappointment, usually there is at least a few kangaroo jumps and since I managed to take out the side of the barn, there could have at least been a few gulp moments. Jasper our other volunteer “guest” is becoming more confident with the big horses, it is great to watch growing confidence as the days go by.

Chickens in the Roost and the Shack are looking much more relaxed and I’m happy to report that the egg count appears to have increased. The reason for more co operation from our feathered friends, the nets we have strung over the pens to discourage our eagle, hawk and owl friends from taking their lunch dinner at our expense. It was amazing to watch the chickens try to become invisible when the shadow of one of the predator birds passed over the pen.The ladies, now they are confident that they aren’t going to be a take away dinner are much more relaxed and happy

Well, almost time to get going, thanks to Jasper and Quatre for being here and helping Greg get going on some of his projects. We really do appreciate having them here.
. M