It Shouldn't Happen To A Ram!

It REALLY shouldn't happen to a ram !!! Barney the bovine had a BAD hygiene problem. Clearly, "taking care" of his harem has resulted in him not taking care of his butt and not taking care of his big woolley butt resulted in a big mucky mess. Even Bran the over enthusiastic Border Collie hesitated to get too close to Barney's butt, the "ladies" already heavily pregnant were no longer considering the Barney aroma hypnotic and  we (wisely) ensured that there was always a healthy air space between us and Barney's butt. Barney, to put it simply.....STANK !! Historically.....Greg has the ideas.....and somehow makes it all work. Not considered to be his best idea...(in fact, bearing in mind Barney's putrid stench, it was widely considered to be bordering on insanity) Greg elected to "trim" and "wash up" Barney's odorous, black tar covered butt and associated dangly "bits". I guess it goes without saying and, if I was a gambling woman I possibly would have bet on Barney's response but....Greg had spoken and once Greg has made up his mind, it WILL happen, come Hell or high water.....Barney was unsurprisingly, less than impressed and initially not unprepared to challenge Greg's executive decision. After foolishly accepting a proffered peanut bribe, he even more foolishly followed the peanut trail into the noose of Greg's lasso and belatedly, recognizing the error of his ways threw a Barney sized tantrum. Rearing when a majority of your weight is in the procreating zone which is, incidentally under the smelly tail zone isn't too smart...but no one ever said Barney was that smart...right ? Barney the smelly ram toppled over backwards and after three dizzy circuits of Greg, surrendered to whatever was his fate. Enter stage left, Erin and son James as the support crew.....though no one really knew what or even how they were going to render support, even more critical, no one really wanted to get too close to Barney's butt. Greg apparently had the better end, (literally) of the deal, being on the far end of a long rope... not so for our hapless volunteers who were assigned the task of pushing (using whatever means worked) the phooey, gooey, nasty  end in the direction of the waiting sheep squeeze. Fortunately for all (Barney included) the beleaguered ram apparently had a sudden change of attitude, the brakes were off and obstinacy was replaced by compliance as the 200lb poop ball trotted into the squeeze and calmly chomped down a bucket of peanuts professionally popped into his waiting mouth by James whilst Greg scalped his butt with an alarmingly evil looking set of sheep shears. It wasn't until Barney's" butt cut" resembled a bad buzz cut and the offending mountain of yucky wool piled up under his tail that Greg turned his attention to the waiting pressure washer and the hapless ram was forced to endure a quick butt wash before he was released with his newly hygienic nether regions bare to the elements. Poor Barney, it REALLY shouldn't happen to a ram. Our thanks (as always) to the intrepid twosome, Erin and James who, in the short time they have been with us have been party to many of our ranch shenanigans.

Time to get back down to the barn....in the sunshine under a beautiful blue sky. Take care, keep safe ( and stay downwind of smelly rams) M