Well, Christmas preparations are well underway here at Gentle Giant Meadows Ranch, the trees are up and baubles bells and bows, twinkling lights and Santas of every size adorn the front room. In the kitchen, just to dispel (or create) any potential or lingering Ba Humbugers I have my ultra annoying Christmas Carol clock. On the hour, every hour my clock emits a noise the box calls a carol. Every hour Bran the Border Collie opens a sleepy eye, cocks an ear and tries to work out the source of the ultra annoying noise by which time the “carol” is over and the Christmas Carol clock has returned to quietly ticking away the seconds until the next rendition of Silent Night. Christmas the tom turkey that got more than a little overweight was proudly taken out of the deep freeze. Christmas the tom turkey had reached his extreme weight because we were hoping that he and Thanksgiving the hen would work out which end was which and eventually lots of little Christmas and Thanksgiving turkey chicks would repay us for all the food momma and poppa turkeys ate. Christmas the turkey tom never did get “it” quite right, Thanksgiving the turkey hen didn’t either and despite all the amour in the turkey pen those eggs remained empty and chickless. Christmas weighed in at 40 lbs and much consideration has been given to how we get him in the oven. We don’t !!! at least, not in one piece. The turkey was placed on the band saw and clearly band saws weren’t made to cater for 40lb turkeys. We turned him upside down and sideways but the frozen carcase wasn’t going to co operate. So, out came the meat saw (Greg always knows how to resolve a problem) simple, Christmas the turkey will make two meals, we saw him right down the breast bone. Ooops…not so simple, Greg got frostbite and meat saw got frozen into the very frozen Christmas the turkey. Michael, quietly imbibing a cup of spiced mulled wine watched in awe ( or more likely amusement) as the mallet came out of the bag of tricks. The mallet didn’t work, it just embedded the saw in deeper. I, by this time also reinforced with a mug of hot spiced wine held on to one leg as Greg determinedly refused to surrender to Christmas the oversize frozen turkey. Now we had a frozen turkey with a frozen meat saw sticking out of both ends, a very frazzled Greg and two “helpers” on their second mug of reinforcement. Out came the meat cleaver…why didn’t we think of that before? So, the mallet bashed the meat cleaver that released the meat saw that eventually cut the turkey in two. Greg (arguably) 1….turkey 0. Michael and I were good…the hot spiced wine is great.
Got to go, it’s almost 7.30. Take care, keep safe, M